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PEOPLE
ARE LIVING LONGER, healthier lives as they age
in this millennium. However, our older population is
growing fast, especially those 85 and older. At some
point in your life, you may be caring for an elderly
relative or friend, either in your own home or in the
elder person's home. As the elder person becomes more
medically frail, and needs more assistance, caring for
them can become very stressful. It may be more difficult
for the older person to shop, cook and clean house.
Keeping track of medications and bill-paying may become a
problem. Short-term memory loss may be a concern. The
elder person may no longer be able to drive and may need
transportation to and from appointments and social
activities. Add to this the responsibilities of your own
work and family, and stress build-up is understandable.
If the situation
described above is familiar to you, how do you know when
you are stressed? What can you do to alleviate it? Many
people are not aware of their stress levels.
Often, stress is
felt physically. If you are not usually are not prone to
body aches, such as headaches, stomachaches, and
abdominal pain, these may start to occur with some
frequency. Often stress and frustration come out with
feeling “flush”, rising blood pressure and a
feeling of tightness in the chest or a “knot in the
stomach”. You may be having trouble falling asleep
and getting enough sleep. Your eating habits may change
so that you are not getting the nutrition you need to
keep going.
Stress build-up
affects you emotionally as well. If you are under
constant stress, you may find yourself becoming more
impatient, and frustrated than usual with your elderly
relative or friend. You may become depressed and isolated
as more of your attention is focused on the one who needs
the care. You may be unable to see “the light at the
end of the tunnel”.
Caregiving does
not have to be this way. Begin by taking positive steps
to alleviate stress. Gather as much information as you
can about the medical condition or illnesses of your
family member or friend. Ask the doctors and medical
professionals lots of questions about treatments and
medications. Don't hesitate to call the doctor with
health care questions.
Build and maintain a
social network around you and your elderly relative.
Start with other family members and close friends who
would be willing to take your relative shopping, to a
hair appointment or come for a friendly visit with your
relative. Maybe one of these friends would pick up
prescriptions at the store or prepare a meal occasionally
to give you a break. Accept help readily from friends and
relatives and ask for help when you need it.
Find out what
resources are in the community that can benefit you and
your relative. Often, a trip to the reference center of a
library can help with this. Ask the doctor where you may
obtain community support and programs. It is very
important to maintain your own health. Have that medical
check-up you have been putting off.
Often, sharing your
experiences with others “in the same boat”
helps. You find that you are not alone and others can
offer tips and lend emotional support. Find a caregiver
support group and attend meetings. These can be located
by calling the Alzheimer's Association and the Health
Association. Look for a person to talk to about your
feelings as a caregiver. A good friend, a religious
leader at your place of worship, a counselor or a care
manager is able to listen and give you support.
Do not be too hard on
yourself if/when your decisions or plans do not work out.
You make the best decisions you can under the
circumstances. Accept the fact that you will have
negative thoughts and feelings about the person for whom
you are caring. This is normal and you are not a “terrible
person” for feeling as you do.
To help you keep
things in perspective, do something that makes you feel
good. Go out for a run, a walk, plant some flowers, play
a game of golf, get some exercise and fresh air. Plan
time for yourself and your family to engage in activities
and hobbies you enjoy. Plan relaxation time for yourself.
Stay involved with religious organizations and other
groups and clubs that interest you. It is important to
keep up with your own social network as well.
Taking better care of
yourself makes you a better caregiver for your elderly
relative or friend. Try some of these suggestions and you
will feel better and lead a healthier and happier life.
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